A blog that renders the perspective of a Muslim Egyptian guy living on planet Earth, who believes that Imagination is more important than knowledge, yet the possession of knowledge dose not kill the sense of wonder! In a nutshell: "I wonder therefore I am"Un Homme et Une Femme [part 1]
June 27, 2009 | 7:32 pmCouple of weeks ago, I generally overviewed how people perceive each other in terms of relationship status. This post, however, shall zoom in to focus on the couples who are the bipolar of any relationship. Hereby I am dealing with the form of ‘straight married couples’ and shall refer to them by the term ‘Partners’ who are keen to reach a successful marriage. Other future posts might deal with partners who fail to make it successful.
To recap, I footed the previously mentioned post with my perspective for marriage which can be summed up as “an agreement between two partners to have an intimate relationship for a lifetime (or so) that sustains both of them and makes a meaning to this empty world of them.” I am to synthesize this sentence in order to reach the basic concept of marriage.
Simply, I believe that a successful marriage pass by the following levels:
- Observation: the two partners are aware about a life they want to share together;
- Intimacy: the two partners are keen about sharing this life with each other;
- Understanding: the two partners are aware about their differences;
- Esteem: the two partners respect their differences.
In simple few words: “want to share life –> keen about sharing/caring –> understand differences –> respect such differences”.
Therefore, in the light of this analysis, I see marriage is about creating a ‘balanced medium’ for the positive integration of their unique forces that are required for each to play their corresponding role in the society. No Utopia I know be patient.
The mentioned levels simply lead them to acquire the necessarily knowledge to implement for the effectuation of their sharable life; something that they both should be aware about. Hence it is not about ‘retouching their social image’ in the eyes of other people, not something that happens accidentally/by luck; rather it depends basically on their awareness.
Consequently, life of these partners is no one but themselves; only the two can take decisions for what suites them and what do not. In many Arab/Eastern societies, family plays important role in the life of the married couples; I can understand this and appreciate it.
When the couples ask for advice from the elders, this is acceptable and understood but this is for a limit that the family don’t interfere in a way that they control their life, either the husband’s or the wife’s so limits should be clearly bordered. Same goes for friends; I do not think at all that the way public do by sharing everything with friends is healthy for the marriage and you can not take advices from anyone but who you trust he/she keens about you.
You may ask: “What about Love?” Well, love is the basic bond that helps them to pass through such process of acquiring knowledge; the more they know, the more they understand, and the more they apply and this is what makes a successful marriage and fuel it with the required energy to move forward. Of course there is no utopia on Earth so I am talking about passing through the mundane problems and other normal problems on both the short and the long runs.
Ironically, this is how Islam counts marriage. This will defiantly make you wonder about problems that you hear/see/read between Muslim married people, however I see complete difference between Islam as an ideology and how some Muslims apply, unfortunately.
+ Prrrrrrrrrrrrrrr 
